but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
