I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
