hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so let's talk penis.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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