Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
