Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
