belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
When did angry sex become our thing?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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