she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
