speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
