Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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