so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
