you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
