Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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