I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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