my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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