I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
