what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Why did my mother make you get naked?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
