Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
