just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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