The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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