My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I cannot find my penis.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
