Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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