i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Drunk is not a location!
Couch. On fire.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
