Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
