I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
