The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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