...so i touched it.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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