I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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