shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
