And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
