It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
