i barfeds in our rink
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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