Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
