i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
