one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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