yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
