ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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