my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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