just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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