party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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