i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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