:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I think I won the penis lottery.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
