Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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