Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Sorry about my life...
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
