you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
