first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
