Don't make out with my wife yet
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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