Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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