I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
