Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
My legs feel like baby dolphins
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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