The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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