Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
