so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
