Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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